Our priorities and the things we value when we become caregivers are, by necessity and sometimes by choice, are quite different. And, it takes a friend or another carer, who has travelled the same road, to understand how things have changed –almost overnight at times.
We have learn how to let go of things, big and small, and savour others. Maybe we lose a few friends along the way and pick up new ones—in doctor’s waiting rooms, support groups and spend less time working. Perhaps the mornings spent grocery shopping and cooking for birthday gatherings are in the past—taken over by younger members of the family. (If you’re as fortunate as I am you have son-in-laws that cook!).
Time spent together turns out to be way more important than elaborate preparations. Fancy flower arrangements and holiday decorations become tulips in a vase and a quick wreath on the door. And it doesn’t matter when laundry piles up in the basket, the dishwasher needs running or garbage day gets forgotten. What the heck.
What is important during our caregiving days is the human side of things: Staying safe, self-care, keeping a loved one calm and comfortable and getting the help that’s needed in a timely fashion. It’s all about managing medications, repurposing a downstairs room into a bedroom, removing scatter rugs and putting up grab bars in the bathroom. Understanding latest medical updates and making it to medical appointments on time along with learning to administer insulin are new found skills.
But, we forget, caregiving is so much more. It’s learning, listening and loving. It’s a chance to focus on giving back to someone who cared for them. And, despite the frustrations, there are positive things that most caregivers experience. There’s a feeling the satisfaction that comes from doing battle to get a loved one is getting the care they need. And, it’s a time of personal growth, increased meaning and a chance to connect on a deeper level.
Caroline Tapp-McDougall
Editor-in-Chief
Caregiver Solutions
Photo: CanStock
