Thoughtful ways to dine-out together
Enjoying a meal out can bring the whole family together without the challenge of shopping and preparing and having to deal with washing a sink full of dishes afterwards!
Much like many other caregiving-related responsibilities, that of selecting a restaurant for dining out with a frail loved one isn’t always that easy. Family caregivers will need to take into account quite a few things before calling to reserve a table for breakfast, lunch or dinner. These include, but are not limited to, the following:
Ease of Access: Can your elder enter the restaurant of choice? Challenging stairs can make entering the restaurant more difficult or even impossible. While my father fortunately remained quite mobile as his Alzheimer’s disease progressed, he still struggled to both climb and descend steps and quickly became tired due to the increased exertion (a stair railing was also necessary to provide support and of course, me!)
Other pluses to look for when mobility is a concern:
1. Parking: Is parking close to the door and if preferred is there weather protected underground parking close by elevator
2. Getting in: Are entrances and doorways wide to accommodate wheelchairs, walkers, or mobility scooters, and is there a ramp and covered entrance as I learned with Dad’s care home, the latter can be very helpful in bad weather.
3. Maneuverability: How is accessibility once you’re inside? Consider interior stairs, limited lighting, and patterned carpets that can be confusing to older eyes. Are tables placed too close together
so that movement is restricted? Will chairs be easy to get in and out of and can they be moved
if necessary?
4. Washrooms: Where are they? Are they on the main floor or down a long hall or in the basement. Is the accessible washroom or the one you’ll be using clean, well-stocked and without boxes and clutter (many places use it for storage).
Think about atmosphere: Is the climate in the restaurant suitable temperature and activity wise. Is it too cold, too warm. Is it air conditioned? Is it too fragrant or will there be too much activity?
While a jungle theme-based restaurant with music and sounds (for example) could be fun for some people it may not be best for this occasion. Imagine being greeted by a statue of a roaring tiger or lots of action as you walk in the restaurant door—a frail senior with reduced cognitive abilities may be unable to discern the difference between a prop and a real animal!
Will they be comfortable and able to hear?
Considering all that can happen inside a restaurant, limiting noise can be almost impossible so beware of open concept resto’s or outside patio’s by the road. Opt for quiet environment where your loved one can participate. Shouting across the table is no fun and neither are loud noise or themed destination. Depending on your guest, be prepared for them to be shocked and frightened by sudden noises (e.g. music playing in an adjacent bar, dishes clattering in the kitchen, ice clunking from an ice maker, and/or drinks churning in a bar blender).
Hint: As I learned the hard way, think about possibilities for awkwardness or discomfort that could ruin the day: I remember taking Dad for a scenic train ride thinking that he would enjoy this. My mistake was forgetting about the ear-piercing whistle which was blasted every time the train approached road crossings. Granted, this could have been exciting for some passengers, but Dad was frightened and covered his ears; there was nothing I could do until the train returned to the station.
For everyone’s benefit, family caregivers should choose a quieter restaurant and a quieter table (found in a corner rather than out in the open). If the restaurant has a private, closed-off dining room that can be booked, all the better! And think about music or other attractions that might interfere with comfort levels.
Specialized diets and menus
Any special diets, allergies, gluten free, vegetarian or lactose intolerant? If so, family caregivers will need to make certain review the menu and talk to the chef if necessary.
Are choices well laid out in an easy-to- read font size and colour (colours and options can be puzzling or disorienting).
Might “finger food” be helpful. While ergonomic cutlery (with textured easy-grip handles) is now available, seniors may still struggle to hold a knife and fork.
Hint: My sisters and I liked to order pizza when visiting Dad … this was something he could easily grab with his hands to eat. Sandwiches, tacos, chicken fingers, charcuterie boards, and eggrolls are among the many food options that do not require fumbling with cutlery.
What are the portions like. Often our elders don’t eat as much as they used to and food that is too rich or too spicy might not be ideal. Be prepared to order less or take-out the leftovers for tomorrows lunch.
Timing is everything
For a better experience when dining out, family caregivers should opt for places that are close by and make earlier reservations to avoid the rush and extra noise and people coming and going.
Breakfast or lunch may be a better option. Your guest may tire quickly, get restless, and not enjoy dinner out as much they used to. Think creatively.
Hint: Consider the length of the meal. How long will it take to order, get served, eat etc. I have a marvelous fondue restaurant located near my home. While this can be a wonderful spot to celebrate special occasions, the typical four-course meal often takes close to two and a half hours to complete—far too long for many people
The way of the future
Smart caregivers will plan ahead, stay flexible and be ready for anything. Smart restaurateurs will recognize the growing demographic of older diners and their families and will cater to them with food and service options that make the experience positive and repeatable.
Rick Lauber is a freelance writer. He has written two books, Caregiver’s Guide for Canadians and The Successful Caregiver’s Guide.
